A Single Tear
by RoseWalker
Summary: At a certain time of year Merlin feels so alone. Actually written for Christmas only posting on here now... go figure!


**Title: **A Single Tear

**Pairings:** Arthur/Merlin

**Spoilers: **Um none really

**WARNINGS: **Angst (again) vague mention of main character death (sticking to legends here) future fic, as in like set now.

**Disclaimer: **Merlin not mine *sob* It's the BBC's though I want to rob them and get away with Bradley and Colin ^_^

**Summary:** At a certain time of year Merlin feels so alone.

**Notes: **I set myself a time limit for this, 20 mins. So it's not epic or anything. I'm not even that keen on it actually. I got the idea while I was doing a night shift at work (so not a good idea). It stemmed from thinking about the Sam Neil version of Merlin. If you've seen it, this will make sense and you will recognise what I've nabbed. If you haven't, I hope it will make sense anyway. *crosses fingers* Written for Christmas but get it posted on here for New Year! Go figure!

-x-

Curled up on the sofa in the dark, he stared at nothing. His knees drawn up to his chest, chin resting on his knees, arms encircling his shins. The room was silent apart from his steady breathing. The bright orange street light gave the room an unnatural glow. If he cared to look out of the window, he would see the house across the road had put their Christmas tree lights on. Next door to them, had switched their house decorations on for the night. Outside the rain was failing. It didn't snow at Christmas any more. It hadn't for a long time now, certainly not here, certainly not where he was. He wouldn't let it.

Merlin hated Christmas. He despised it. It wasn't that it had become another reason for big businesses to cash in. It wasn't because supermarkets had been apparently celebrating it since September. It wasn't even that most people had forgotten what it was supposed to be about. It was because, simply, he was alone.

It had been many years; centuries in fact, that Merlin had been on his own. He had become used to it. He couldn't let anyone get too close for too long. It is very suspicious when you meet someone and then they never get any older, while you wither away. Merlin had resigned himself to that fate. Except for this time of year. Christmas is when he felt it most.

So many happy years had passed in Camelot. He and Arthur. Together.

Arthur looking completely surprised when Merlin had shown him a tree covered in 'real' fairy lights. Each glow a tiny creature, happy to help Merlin.

Arthur giving him 'That' smug smile the first time they had kissed under the mistletoe.

Arthur looking so content and happy to have Merlin in his arms as they had danced in the snow to music only they could hear.

That was why it didn't snow anymore. Every time Merlin had seen those unique flakes flutter down they burned him to his very soul. Arthur. His King. His friend. His lover. Merlin had lost track how many years had come and gone. All he knew was that there were too many.

Christmas had been the fateful time that had seen his lover fall in battle. Merlin had been at his side in those last moments. As he had held Arthur close, rivers of tears staining his cheeks, Arthur had smiled at him, rubbed those tears away and made Merlin promise that he would never cry for him. Merlin had told him he could not promise that. Arthur had looked grave, 'just one then', he had told his lover. Merlin had agreed. But he had interpreted it in his own way. He had let a tear fall into his hand, letting it solidify. Merlin had placed the jewel on Arthur's chest. They had kissed before Arthur had been escorted to Avalon, never to be seen again. But Merlin waits even now.

Every year at Christmas time, Merlin would shed a single tear in memory of his lover. It would slide down his cheek to fall into his palm and crystallise, forming a perfect jewel. Each year had passed and each year he had kept the tears. Each time they were different colour. Many were shades of red or gold. The colours of Camelot. 'His' colours.

Only once had Merlin had broken his promise. He had let two tears fall. They had formed into crystals the exact shade of Arthur's eyes. They were Merlin's most precious possessions. The only thing he had to truly remember Arthur.

In his curled up position, Merlin let his single tear for the year fall. It formed like a drop of blood in his hand. He sighed sadly as his fingers closed around it.

"Come back to me. I don't want to be alone anymore." He whispered into the darkness.


End file.
